so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize