come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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