her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Your penis caused this!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize