It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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