Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
