the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
