So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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