I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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