we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
My dick has a subreddit
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
