some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
