idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
