HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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