Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
