i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
