thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
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