tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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