Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
