i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
