she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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