my soul wont recognize me after tonight
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
whose parrot is this?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize