I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I'm going to jail i love you
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
