Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I have aggressive nipples.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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