dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
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