Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
