Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
