I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
