I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
