is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
