So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
