Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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