did you get engaged???
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
