I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
home. puking in laundry basket.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
