Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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