Sry I called you an 8
ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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