Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
