People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
