Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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