Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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