they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
