Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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