is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
