i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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