I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
