We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I currently don't understand fingers.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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