brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Ladies don't puke and tell
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
