I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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