u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
