dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
