We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
