My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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