I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
