I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
