I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
