So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
