so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
