Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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