Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
