Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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