My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
