Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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