margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
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