she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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