How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
