walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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