corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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