Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
