I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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