can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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