That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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