I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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