You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
